Get Jinxed: A Tale of Mental Instability and Poor Decisions (Arcane/League of Legends) Fantasy (2025)

I let out a bored sigh as I endured yet another of the endless meetings that were an inevitable part of setting up a water treatment plant. The science and engineering side of things was a lot more interesting than dealing with all the day-to-day management stuff. Sure, sometimes there were actual problems I needed to be in the loop on, but most of the things that came up were just boring or a waste of my time.

Like now, when they were going on about tweaking the rune cages to make sure they were getting all the contaminants out. It was just routine maintenance, why did I need to be here for this? Anyone with even a basic knowledge of the core principles of Hextech could figure out how to fix this problem.

Jayce sighed and shook his head. "We're making progress here, but we still haven't figured out how to remove all of Powder."

I blinked and shook my head as I snapped out of my bored half-doze. "Wait, what?"

"There's some kind of contaminants suspended in the water," Viktor answered. "So we're working on a way to get rid of this Powder. It's not like anyone wants it."

"Oh. Yeah, right." I nodded along. "Well, isn't the solution..."

Later that evening, I was soaking in the tub and trying to figure out the best solution to the whole problem. You'd think it would be simple to get rid of a little sediment. Ugh, this whole thing was so boring and time-consuming. It was just a lot of trial and error with different rune configurations to find out which one worked best. It wasn't the worst kind of work, at least I was still accomplishing something worthwhile, but I'd rather be putting my mind to working on something a bit more challenging.

"Ugh, whatever." I opened up the drain to let the water start flowing out of the tub. As I watched it all go down I noticed something weird. Was the water always so blue? Wait, what were those strange little blue particles in the—

Next thing I knew I was barreling down the drainpipe towards my own water treatment plant. I tried to swim against the current, but there was no way I could resist it when I was just a bunch of loose Powder. That was basically nothing at all. No, worse than nothing. If I was nothing I would be free to escape from this pipe, but instead I was a bunch of Powder that couldn't get away or do anything useful, headed straight for the purification chamber.

I was helpless as my form flowed into the purification tanks, and the blue light of my own Hextech passed through me, purging away everything. Somehow it didn't hurt, but I could still feel parts of myself burning away under the light of my own chamber.

Eventually, the outflow valve opened up, and I could finally escape. Except that what came out of there wasn't really me anymore. Instead of my usual long braids hanging down free, I had one of those efficient updos that packed all my hair into a single tight knot. My clothes were all fancy and Piltie too, but with none of the usual little tweaks I put on them to give them a little more personality. I was just pressed and perfect, like some doll.

The Kirammans were there, looming over me as they smiled and clapped. "Congratulations, Jinx. You're finally good enough to be part of our family."

"Oh, that simply won't do." Somehow my voice sounded even more posh and stuck-up than Caitlyn's was. "Jinx, such a crude name. I should have something that evokes class and sophistication. Please, from now on call me Lady Beatrice Eleanor Priscilla Kiramman."

"That's a much better name than Jinx," Viktor agreed with an approving nod.

"One I'm happy to have listed as our Hextech partner," Jayce started applauding. "Congratulations, Beatrice."

"Oh yes, quite the capital change," Heimerdinger joined in on the applause. "Such a fascinating change of identity. Like discarding an old, failed prototype to move on to a new, better version."

"It's the sort of strong name people in Noxus would respect," Mel agreed. "We should find a politically advantageous marriage for such a fine young lady."

"Duchess Beatrice Eleanor Priscilla Kiramman-Crownguard does have a nice ring to it..." Caitlyn pointed out, clapping me on the back. "We never would have considered something like that before we cleaned you up, but now that you're worth something..."

"Your song is so much more harmonious now!" Seraphine agreed, grinning down at me. "I need to find a way to incorporate this into my next performance! Something we can use to encourage all the other people in Zaun to go through the same process. Won't it be so much better for everyone if they're all cleaned up like you are? Won't that make the Council and all of Piltover's high society so happy with you? Then they'll fund whatever projects you want."

I wanted to say something about how that wasn't what I wanted, that I'd never try to destroy any of the things that would make Zaun unique. But no matter how loud I screamed it inside my head, the words never left my mouth. Instead, Beatrice smiled politely. "Why yes, that does sound quite lovely, doesn't it? We'll clean up all of Zaun, and once we're done with those animals we can have some lovely tea and crumpets. Tally ho, pip pip!"

We all smiled happily as a wave of purifying magic washed over Zaun.

"GYAAAARGGH!!!" I bolted out of bed, instinctively reaching for Zapper and getting halfway to powering it up when I realized there was nothing there. What was I even supposed to shoot with Zapper anyway? None of the people from my dream were there.

I groaned and walked into the bathroom, running some water into the sink and splashing my face. "Ugh, I'm really missing the weird dreams right now..."

"Chin up, old girl!"

I blinked and stared at the mirror. Except instead of seeing my own reflection, Beatrice was staring back at me with a vacant smile. "Just head on down the drain, and we can finally get rid of all that nasty Zaunite filth that's still stuck to you. You know they'll never really accept you as long as it's there, no matter how much they pretend they do."

I screamed as I whipped out Zapper, powered it up maximum, and fired. The shot bounced right off Beatrice's face in the mirror, reflecting back and disintegrating me instead.

"OH YOU MOTHERF—" I groaned and slammed a pillow over my face. "Stupid-ass double fakeout dreams!" I let out a wordless scream of pure rage into the pillow, angrily kicking my feet up and down as I vented a whole lot of very frustrated emotions I couldn't come up with another way to let out.

I kept it up until I heard someone knocking on my bedroom door. A second later, the maid's voice came through. "Miss Jinx? Are you alright?"

I groaned. "That depends. If I let you in, are you gonna turn out to be some bizarro nightmare doppelgänger version of me?"

After several seconds of painful silence, the maid answered. "…No?"

She didn't sound very sure about that. I sprang to my feet and ripped open the doors to confront her. "Nice try, Beatrice!"

The maid took a startled step back, holding up her hands to ward me off. "M-my name is Annette, Miss Jinx."

I frowned and carefully looked her over. She definitely didn't look like some freaky Piltie version of me. Though maybe that was the idea, and as soon as I turned my back she was gonna rip off her Annette mask and try to replace me so she could go to one of Salo's dumb garden parties or whatever. It's something I might do if I was Beatrice. Which I technically was, depending on how you looked at it.

When that didn't happen after I spent several seconds staring at her, I decided I was probably safe to go back to my normal morning routine. "Ugh, sorry about that. Don't mind me, I had one of those weird dreams that messed with my head."

Annette (if that was her real name) seemed to accept that explanation without any trouble. Or maybe she was just worried about getting in trouble if she argued with me. Ugh, stupid Piltover class divide. If we were both normal Zaunites she probably wouldn't feel like she had to put up with any of my crazy nonsense.

The worst part was that after four years of living with the Kirammans, I'd gotten way too used to having domestic servants. It was nice to have someone help me braid my hair in the morning, or help make my meals, clean up after me, and manage all kinds of other things. It gave me more time to work on engineering stuff. Plus it meant I ate good meals and got a decent amount of sleep even when I was in the zone plugging away at a new project.

By the time I got down to breakfast I was almost feeling like a normal human being again. The meal itself was pretty uneventful unless you counted Mrs. Kiramman being a little suspicious about the fact that Caitlyn had supposedly come down with a cold. She didn't seem inclined to go running into Caitlyn's bedroom to chew her out for getting drunk, so I figured Mr. Kiramman had done a good enough job of settling things down. Hopefully the hangover wasn't kicking her butt too hard. Maybe a little bit of pain would be payback for everything she'd gotten up to last night, but even then I couldn't get too mad about all the drunken antics when she'd never meant to get drunk in the first place.

I was almost in a good mood by the time I was ready to head out to the bridge to meet up with Lux for our big charity event in Zaun. I suppose I should've known that was a bad sign. Whenever things were going too well, it was a sign that the world was about to figure out some new way to punch me in the kidneys.

The first warning sign was when Lux was waiting for me in the plaza near the bridge. Well, her waiting for me wasn't a bad sign in and of itself, she was supposed to do that, but the fact that she'd been standing around looking out for me instead of supervising the people loading up several carts full of food was a sign something wasn't quite right. She smiled when she spotted me, though I was getting the feeling she pretty much just had a permanent case of resting nice girl face, which I hadn't even known was a thing before I met her. "Hello, Jinx. How are you this morning? Did you get Caitlyn home without any trouble?"

"I'm good, and Caitlyn got home fine and is sleeping things off." I took a look around the plaza, trying to figure out what was wrong. I didn't see anything obvious. There were more of the Demacian tin cans and Piltover bluebellies around than I'd like, but that could just be on account of them being the easiest people to conscript into helping load all the wagons up for our little charity trip. It would probably be quicker to just ask her what was up instead of trying to figure it out myself. "So, I'm still learning all your smiles, but that one looks like a 'I'm pretending everything is fine while internally screaming' smile. Something about how it doesn't reach your eyes."

Lux's resting nice girl face almost slipped for a second, and she let out a soft chuckle. "I'll have to work on that." She rapped a fist on her steel breastplate. "This is my armor for dealing with battles." She pointed at her smile. "And this is my armor for conversations. Both are dangerous things to enter without protection."

"Yeah, yeah." I smirked and poked her breastplate as well. "Though that armor of yours doesn't stop everything. Some stuff goes right through metal armor, or could even be drawn to it. You know, like an electrical attack."

Lux rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me before we're done." She grabbed my wrist and started hauling me towards the wagons. "Now come on, I need your help. I'm still learning how things work in Piltover, but some people really can't take a hint, and you seem to be able to get away with being a bit blunter than I can be."

I was about to ask what she was talking about when I spotted one of my least favorite people in Piltover: Sheriff Marcus, Grayson's replacement. He was standing around like a jerk, keeping his right hand tucked into his jacket. I'd heard it never quite healed right after Vander busted the heck out of it in his last stand, and that was why he kept it in his jacket all the time. Too bad getting his arm so messed up made the Pilties think he was some kind of hero cop and pick him to replace Grayson. Or maybe the Council just liked him because he kissed butts and never pushed back the way Grayson had.

If he was here, it probably meant he was here to be a pain in the ass. As soon as he opened his mouth, he confirmed my suspicions. "Ah, Miss Kiramman, good. I was just explaining to Lady Crownguard that there seems to have been some kind of misunderstanding about your Enforcer escort for today's trip to the undercity."

Oh goodie, this again. "I'm not sure how there could be a misunderstanding about that when we were pretty clear with the Council about how we don't want any Enforcers tagging along with us." I'd put up with having them around when I was in Piltover playing by their rules, but I'd be damned before I went around Zaun with bluebellies tagging along. At that point I might as well stop pretending and just toss myself into my water plant and see if it really would turn me into some kind of Piltie.

Lux cleared her throat. "As I understand it, there are tensions between the undercity—Zaun, and your Enforcers." Her eyes flicked over to me when she corrected herself and I couldn't help nodding a bit. That name mattered. "I've seen similar problems in Demacia. The poor and desperate people of my home are never comfortable approaching a group of heavily armed guards, and I suspect that's one thing that our nations share in common."

"Yup." I wanted to point out just how bad of a reputation the bluebellies had in Zaun, but for all I knew the Demacians were just as bad. Maybe even worse whenever the Mageseekers were involved, at least Enforcers were mostly just corrupt assholes instead of a bunch of psycho fanatics. "Having a bunch of Enforcers around would scare off all the people who really need help."

Marcus cleared his throat and put on the most condescending voice imaginable, probably the same one he used to talk to his four-year-old daughter. "I understand your concerns, but Lady Crownguard is a visiting foreign dignitary. We didn't even allow her to travel around Piltover without a security detail, and now you're suggesting we let the two of you head into the undercity with no escort?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "We'll have local backup. People who actually know Zaun, and can protect us without scaring anyone away." Not to mention I trusted the Firelights a hell of a lot more than any of Marcus's Enforcers. Dirty cops were usually for sale to the highest bidder, and even if they weren't likely to risk causing us trouble I knew we couldn't count on them if things got bad. Most of them were just big bullies, and most weren't interested in getting into a real fight.

Marcus let out a pained sigh and turned to face Lux, probably knowing he wouldn't get anywhere with me. So he wasn't a complete idiot. "Lady Crownguard, surely you understand that we can't possibly entrust the safety and security of someone of your stature to members of a street gang."

"I don't see any reason to question Jinx's judgment," Lux answered with a polite but very insincere smile. "If the Council put her in charge of escorting me around Piltover, I'm sure that they trust her too. If she thinks liaising with the locals is the best way to move forward, then I see no reason to doubt her judgment."

"And I do think that, so ... scoot." I waved him away. "How do you think it's gonna look if Lux and I have to go to the Council to complain about you getting in the way and causing a big diplomatic incident? Just take your boys out for breakfast or something. There's a place nearby that does a great ham egg and cheese sandwich with bacon on it." I covered my mouth and whispered to Lux, just barely loud enough for Marcus to pick up. "Wait, should I not have suggested that? Isn't it kind of cannibalism?"

From the way Marcus's mouth twitched, he'd definitely heard that. Which was the point of saying it, since Lux just looked confused by my joke. I guess that figured when they didn't have anything like Enforcers in Demacia, they still ran things under old-school feudalism. I'd have to explain that kinda thing to her later. It would be pretty hilarious if I could turn a high-ranking foreign noblewoman into a proper anarchist who wanted to tear down the monarchy.

The best part of subtly insulting Marcus to his face was that he couldn't do anything about it. Well, he totally could've if he actually had a spine, but he didn't have the guts to risk running me in. The Kirammans would have his ass for touching me, and Heimerdinger would probably brush the whole thing off as just another example of me being 'an energetic brilliant young mind' or whatever. Mel and the rest of the Council basically treated me, Jayce, and Viktor as the geese that laid the golden eggs of Hextech. I'd say we could get away with anything short of murder, but Mel seemed like the kind of lady who would know how to dispose of a corpse and clean up all the evidence. It seemed like the kinda thing they probably taught all high-ranking Noxian kids. Maybe we could add that as a course in the Academy?

Marcus cleared his throat. "I understand your concerns, but I'm afraid I really must insist on providing some additional security. Perhaps I could send plainclothes officers with you instead of men in full uniform if you're worried about tensions with the locals?"

It wasn't the worst idea if the only problem anyone in Zaun was hating the bluebelly uniforms. The problem was that Enforcers had plenty of experience being assholes out of uniform too. The ones who'd gone and caused trouble in Babbette's all those years ago hadn't been in uniform, after all. In uniform or not, they'd act like Enforcers and cause trouble.

Lux cleared her throat and whispered to me. "If I can offer a suggestion? This kind of reminds me of how my brother would want to send guards with me or tag along himself when I was engaged in charity work. Obviously it's not exactly the same, but whenever he got in that mood I tried to find something for him to do to feel like he was valued and contributing while also making sure he stayed out of the way so I could work in peace. Perhaps we could find something like that for him? Outright snubbing him could cause a headache."

"I suppose we could do something like agree to take an emergency flare with us," I conceded. "Not like we'd ever set it off anyway." I frowned as I thought it over. "Then again, that'd just encourage him. I think it's more like when a poro takes a dump on the carpet: you don't compromise and say he can do his business in certain places or at certain times, that's just gonna confuse his tiny brain. You gotta set a firm rule of no potty business indoors, so they know not to do it anymore. Enforcers are like that, but dumber and meaner."

Lux's smile shifted to a genuine grin for a second, and she let out a soft chuckle. "You really don't like Enforcers, do you? You'll have to explain why when we have time."

I grinned. "We can cover that while we're in Zaun." That just left the question of how to handle Marcus. Even if I wanted to tell Marcus to buzz off, Lux's idea wasn't bad either. Sure, it wasn't as much fun, but if I let him feel like he was getting something out of it he was less likely to do something like just ignore me completely or try to go over my head to the Council.

Whether they'd actually tell him to butt out or not was hard to say, but I wasn't optimistic if he did while I was down in Zaun and he was the only one talking to them. It'd be pretty easy to spin some kind of line about how we might be in danger and the Enforcers needed to go in to prevent any 'incidents.' If Enforcers running around Zaun caused a riot, they'd just see that as proof they'd been right all along, even though they'd been the ones to spark the riot in the first place.

Ugh, what to do?

Current Stability: 0
Willpower: 3

[ ][Sheriff] Tell Him to Buzz Off
Issues: Daughter of Zaun (-1), Trauma (-3), Powder (-5)
Failure Consequences: Jinx is undiplomatic about this. Undiplomatic even by Jinx standards.

[ ][Sheriff] Give Him Something To Do To Keep Him Busy
Issues: Daughter of Zaun (-1), Trauma (-3), Powder (-5)
Failure Consequences: Jinx can't stop herself from mocking Marcus.

[ ][Willpower] Spend Zero
[ ][Willpower] Spend One for +3 to Rolls
[ ][Willpower] Spend Two for +6 to Rolls
[ ][Willpower] Spend Three for +9 to Rolls